I recently started dating after being married for fifteen years. Two years after the divorce came through I finally decided I would try and move on and embrace my single life. I was excited of course but the nerves are what caused me to wait so long. I was full of self-doubt and this needed to be addressed so I could find a new man.
Jumping back into the world of dating can be a daunting experience especially if it has been many years since you were last in the dating game. If you are heading back out there and looking for love it can be useful to take on board a few simple tips to try and reduce the nerves and leave you feeling confident. So here are some of the ways I helped to improve my self-esteem and boost my confidence when meeting new guys and heading out on first dates.
If you are like me you probably have spent many years putting other people first. Each time I would go to the shops I would come back with goodies for my husband or some new clothes for the kids and perhaps a top in a sale for me. I saved up some money I took myself off to a health spa for the day followed by a whole day of shopping. I found this hard as I kept finding myself in the teenage section finding wonderful things for the kids, but I forced myself to walk away and came back with several new outfits.
Think about your style
I hadn’t revamped my image since my early twenties. I was still wearing jeans and tops and I was beginning to feel a little frumpy if I am honest. I looked online for some inspiration and found some new styles that would suit my body shape. I also invested in some Bridget Jones style underwear to help create a toned silhouette under my new clothes. I have to say that these big knickers have certainly improved since the days of Bridget Jones. It is now possible to find attractive pieces of underwear that still tuck in the bumps that shouldn’t really be there.
Work on your energy levels
I am not really one for exercising but I did need to address how tired and lazy I can be. Finding time to date as well as working all day long and taking care of a house filled with three teenagers requires some stamina. To be honest I needed to shape up a little after indulging in too many biscuits after the divorce. Instead of joining a gym I decided to make the most of my surroundings and take daily walks for about an hour or so in the evening. I found this did help improve my energy levels and it had other benefits too. Within a few weeks I could fit into an old pair of jeans and I felt a lot calmer. The walks gave me time to relax and think outside of work and the home, I recommend it to everyone.
After the failure of my marriage I was feeling very negatively about myself. By training myself to think positively I gradually stopped giving myself such a hard time. I am still young enough to find new love, I have plenty of great things going about me, and I am interested in other people. It is hard to stop the negative thoughts but when one pops into my head I replace it with something positive.
By following these tips I was able to finally start dating again and I have had a few really great first dates. I am still looking for Mr Right, but I am not willing to settle I am worth so much more than that, and so are you.